So, I love Christmas time a lot. There is so much fun stuff to do with the family, not to mention all of the delightful food and treats (see previous two posts by Kizzie). However, one thing I loathe about this time of year is the bevy of horrible movies! No channel seems worse in this area than the woman-centered Lifetime Network (with this year's holiday tagline "Falalala Lifetime"). Last year I was disgusted by such movies as "A New Dad For Christmas", "A New Mom For Christmas","A Grandpa For Christmas," "A New Sister For Christmas", or "A New Adopted Turkish Son for Christmas." Ok... I made that last one up... but there were seriously a ton of "A New........ For Christmas" type movies. They make me want to vomit.Obviously, this problem is easily solved by simply avoiding the Lifetime Network. In reality... not so easy with a wife who seems addicted to these movies. More than once in the last couple days have I caught her not only watching these movies, but setting future movies to record on our DVR. I can understand her being bored, flipping through the channels, and being sucked in by one of these ever so cleverly titled movies. However, going out of her way to find and record such things? That's premeditated pain for her loving husband! I think that she may even find the movies, mentally rate the amount of anguish they would cause me, then make her final selections.
Do they even make man Christmas movies? How about "A Jack Bauer Christmas" or "Chuck Norris Slays Santa" (clever huh? - Networks... I have lots of ideas, give me a call). If nothing else, such movies might provide a nice change of pace from all of the sappy, vomitous, and otherwise repulsive selections. Until things improve, I suppose that I'll just endure it the best that I can, and hope that Kizzie has mercy on me. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
9 comments:
I'm not addicted...I get bored sometimes...I can't be the only one who watches lifetime movies on occasion...There are just a bunch on at Christmas time.
I get bored. Ok?! Geez.
And, I do NOT go out of my way to dvr them. that would just be crazy.
UGH...Why are the posts by Andy always embarrassing for me!?
Ahahahahaha! The pics at the bottom totally top off the hilariousness of this post! Thanks for making me laugh today! :D
Andy,
I hear you. But I kind of enjoy the sappy Christmas movies... and it is fun to make fun of some of the bad ones... last night we watched one where Steve Guittenberg(sp?) is Santa's son, about to take over as Santa and he needs to find a wife... very lame and cheesy movie, and every time Guttenberg's character laughed, he would actually ho-ho-ho... very humurous, though I don't think it was meant to be...
But I like your ideas for man Christmas movies too!
ha ha...fortunately for Ryan I don't like those movies...unfortunately for Ryan...America's Next Top Model is usually on the same time as a Jazz game.
I LOVE LIFETIME!!!!!
LOL! This was such a funny post.
I love your posts Andy! They are always entertaining. I also agree about the poor choice of Christmas shows on lifetime. Not so sure about your choice of Man movies but it doesn't hurt to try! Good luck with that one!
Hey Kizzie... Sasha made her blogs private. I had her blogs on my list... is she adding anyone besides family?
Just enjoy the fact that, should you want to, you could watch weepy movies all day long...
Maybe you should try it. Get out your favorite blanket, sprawl out on the couch, get some popcorn and a box of tissues. Immerse yourself in the emotion and the possibility of... A New Andy For Christmas!
Post a Comment